假如有投胎


博士是我四張人世認識的男人之中最能掌握生命的一個。

一切全賴他堅韌如鋼的耐力。

他有能力將興趣迴旋地把玩、集中地鑽研、創意地加減;這其實沒甚了了,行走江湖久者皆能。問題是他的耐力,窮一生。

06年他終於得手的長篇大論文,題目是Optimisation of Long-Term Industrial Planning 優化長遠工業規劃,是通過數學、物理、化學和電腦程式,來推算出最合附環境保護大前題及經濟效益組合的長遠工業生產過程。

當博士研究生是漫長戰爭,敵人是自己。那一年暑假從未如此明媚過,我們仍住在小鎮,我和方芳悠悠天天往村中的露天泳池兩次,路過爺爺的工場便和窩在裡面兩個月的爸爸說聲嗨嗨,結果整個夏天我廿五米也沒游得成。

那長篇大論文我幫手來回校對了許多次,學術行文的反芻本質落到我的精扭廣告語言訓練手上,有如死不斷氣的舊情人在癡纏,煩盡煩來。

我現在駕駛的錢七是十多歲的富豪460型號,原本的主人想把它宰了,博士在工餘時間令它起死回生,賜我自由。那年修了一年大學物理工程,有點悶,走入小鎮的Citroen 車房,游說老闆讓他試修面前的引擎,離開的時候換來明天上班。一年後老老闆準備退休,想將車房賣給他和同事,他選擇回去完成沙紙。我們今天和車房老闆一家是朋友,他們家中的電影銀幕大概有十個方芳那麼浩瀚,就是當年那位同事。

我98年第一次來瑞典,到博士父母當時居住的農莊,他帶我看那間木杉小屋,四面牆用大樹幹橫放疊高建成,屋頂一片綠油油的草坪,整間屋沒有用上一根釘子,那是十八世紀的瑞典傳統木屋,入門口時要俯身。博士告訴我:這是我建的,我當時不過典型港式嘩嘩嘩回應問:Y?他認真的說:為了解那結構的奧妙。

這便是關鍵。一副好奇的心是不夠的,要好奇到不堪的話,可能才有資格當博士。

再將時空回轉到七十年代,我在橫頭磡的七層樓梯間捉迷藏,七歲的博士將拾來的梳化裝在拾來並修理好的舊引擎上,在村裡的草地上把馬達砰砰砰發動起來。這只是其中一節,圖中錯處在哪裡?自小在不准範圍成長的我們,自然反應是:那他的父母呢?

這便是第二個關鍵了。你在lousyma 博看到方芳執刀、悠悠煎腸的小故事,那已經是小事了。而我,自命在創作界行走十一載之後空降瑞典,好明顯要從頭思量過,我一直以為擁有的想像力。

假如有投胎,我想活我愛人的一生,感受掌握生命的無邊力量,以及,能容忍另一半零耐性的何德何能。

現在,我們一起的下半生,四對手還有待填滿。

*周日名采同題讀:
Alex- 做隻貓做隻狗
Haricot – 靈光
Jessica – 假如有投胎
Wordy – 投胎
Vince – 孟婆有約
Daisy – 假如有投胎
C9愛美麗 – 投胎
Michelle – 假如有投胎

10 thoughts on “假如有投胎

  1. “或許你我曾在對面樓鬥蠟燭,橫頭磡的中秋!”
    I vaguely remember that now. Again, thinking back, I am amazed I don’t remember any serious fire or burnt clothings. I guess people learn quickly to not hang their clothing out when it it 中秋.

    P.S. I saw it sometime ago, but like the colours in your car banner. Taken in Cuba?

  2. audreyma: 所以他老人家出落如斯一個女兒!

    kempton: 或許你我曾在對面樓鬥蠟燭,橫頭磡的中秋!

    echo: 我和博士都覺得,若能將港人的高效率與瑞典人的一心一意加起來除二,那可能會平衡得多,或者,兩頭不到岸。

    wiwiana: 第一次和你握手!不用羨慕我喇,你看我一直寫的,總是勞騷,我是要出力的提醒自己身在福中要珍惜這份福啊。

    exile: we made a decision to let the kids grow up in sweden. i wish that one day, when they are older and have adopted the swedish openess and self-awareness as an individual, then maybe it’s time we move to hk.

    holly: 你倆也是!共勉啊!

  3. 最奇妙無論生命的起源如何

    愛情將我們一起放生

    我老爸不是博士,但他某些地方像博士,79年他說要回鄉下起祖屋,和工程完全不沾邊的人,自學建築自聘工人,造了漂亮的小洋房,迄今仍在。

    讓老爸做什麼他都說行,有時真的被他嚇死。

  4. Have you ever wondered how things would have turned out differently if he had moved to Hong Kong to be with you? Just may be, what if….it can be interesting too, huh?

  5. 我覺得很感動。愛一個人容易﹐但能夠如此細膩的欣賞和了解自己愛的人﹐對他的性格和想法瞭如指掌﹐才是令我最敬佩最羨慕的地方。

    P.S.
    能夠跟這麼一個愛人長相廝守﹐你很幸運也很幸福啊! 很羨慕。

    P.P.S.
    非常同意「一副好奇的心是不夠的,要好奇到不堪的話,可能才有資格當博士」。若非對學科好奇得要命﹐實在很難去忍受那抗戰式的煎熬。

  6. 整間屋沒有用上一根釘子-我想看看那屋是什麼樣子 :p

    “這便是關鍵。一副好奇的心是不夠的,要好奇到不堪的話,可能才有資格當博士”你說出了我的感受了,我想這也歸功瑞典任由你自我探索的學習文化還有那貴到死的稅。那天跟瑞典朋友聊天,她說想讀法律呀,我也想。可是我第一件想起的事卻是學費好貴,那我讀什麼才算最抵?結果最抵讀的卻不是最想讀既,。而她,只是歡天喜地期待入學試考過後,就可以讀自己心愛的科目。我看著她,心想如果將來我的孩子可以無需擔心學費去享受學習,那貴到死的稅我心甘情願奉上。

    不過,有時我想,香港雖在self developement 方面比瑞典不足,但反應快、高效率和profit-oriented都是我大學三年的得著,若不是有這些過去,也不會有今天的我。

  7. Dear 周游,

    I think this is one of the most heart warming love letter that I have read in a long time. Mind you, I don’t read a lot of other people’s love letters, so my samples are limited. 🙂

    Stop short of 投胎, we can’t change the way we grow up. But we are flexible and adaptive so I believe we can reprogram ourselves to change and act differently. It may takes us time to change, and for some things, a life time, but isn’t it part of the fun?

    Incidentally, we learned different skill set in HK. You will be great help and people and business person for 博士. There are things that playing in 橫頭磡的七層樓梯間捉迷藏 and playing with other kids in HK have taught you that a boy grew up in the Western world had no way of learning. (Gladwell talked about why Jewish lawyers are top M&A lawyers because they grew up in a constantly negotiating environment.)

    P.S. By the way, my grandma and uncle’s family lived in 橫頭磡 and even had a shop there. I remember the fun of mid-autumn festival. I am surprised the games with fire we played didn’t cause much more trouble that we had chance to.

    P.P.S. 博士 is so smart and inspiring. I should (and will try to) pick his brains some time. “最合附環境保護大前題及經濟效益組合的長遠工業生產過程” is an interesting and intriguing topic. And since my good friend introduced me to the fun stuff in Artificial Neural Network in the 90s (his Phd is in ANN), I am amazed by what ANN can do and now Discrete-time prediction networks (DTPNs) seem very cool.

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